This quiz consists of four questions that tells you whether or not you are qualified to be a professional. SCROLL DOWN FOR THE ANSWERS. There is no need to cheat. The questions are not that difficult. You just need to think like a professional.

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether or not you are doing simple things in a complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Incorrect answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the door.
Correct answer: Open the refrigerator, take out of the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This question tests your foresight.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct answer: The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator! This tests if you are capable of comprehensive thinking. OK, if you did not answer the last three questions correctly, this one may be your last chance to test your qualifications to be a professional.

4. There is a river that is known to have many crocodiles in it. How do you cross it?

Correct Answer: Simply swim across it. All the crocodiles are attending the animal meeting!

That completes the test!

This question tests your reasoning ability. So...

• If you answered four out of four questions correctly, you're a true professional. Wealth awaits you.

• If you answered three out of four, you have some catching up to do but there's hope for you.

• If you answered two out of four, consider a career as a hamburger flipper in a fast food joint.

• If you answered one out of four, try selling your organs. It's the only way you will ever make any money.

• If you answered none correctly, consider a career that does not require any higher mental functions at all, such as management, politics, law or medicine.

Read to the end and see if you still think so.

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce produce.

3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4. We must polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

taken from http://www.lotsofjokes.com/

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP'

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP. To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP .. When the sun comes out we say it is clearingUP ...

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP , so... it is time to shut UP!

With Sony Ericsson Vivaz communication becomes truly entertaining video with high quality HD allowing customers to create and send their best experiences using the latest feature video capture and sharing.

• Capture – record spontaneous moments and memories in HD quality and high resolution video experience real. The dedicated movie button allows consumers to instantly shoot video with auto focus continues to make the perfect film in every moment.
• Watch the video content-display panel mode or online through Wi-Fi on the screen by 3.2 “.
• Share – upload via Wi-Fi on YouTube and Picasa in high resolution while you are still using the other features of the phone.

The open platform also allows users to customize their experience with downloading applications through the unique and exciting store PlayNow and Symbian Developer Community.

“The content created by users themselves, especially videos, are invading the Web,” says Lennard Hoornik, Head of Marketing, Sony Ericsson. “With Sony Ericsson Vivaz, we created a phone that makes it easy to achieve high definition video and upload it own expression of creativity on the web to share with everyone. Sony Ericsson Vivaz offers the beauty inside and out through open and intuitive experience that allows users to capture, watch and share their lives in HD quality. ”

Sony Ericsson Vivaz is characterized by the new design philosophy of “human curves, first introduced with Xperia X10, which will become a constant feature of the Sony Ericsson product portfolio. Designed to reflect the shape of the human body, and at the same time offering precise and engaging interaction with the mobile phone, Sony Ericsson Vivaz is immediately recognizable. ”

Sony Ericsson Vivaz
• Video HD – produce and transmit your best experience with the latest features video capture and sharing
• Social networking – easy access to social networks like Facebook and Twitter
• 8.1 megapixel camera – capture the moments of life in high quality
• face detection and smile – a picture perfect at all times
• Sony Ericsson Media Player

Sony Ericsson Vivaz supports UMTS HSPA and GSM 900/2100 GPRS / EDGE 850/900/1800/1900, UMTS and HSPA 850/1900/2100 EDGE 850/900/1800/1900.

Sony Ericsson Vivaz will be available in selected markets from Q1 in colors Silver Moon, Cosmic Black, Galaxy Blue Ruby and Venus.