44. Give her compliments regularly
45. Love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. Not stress her out
49. Not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

50. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

53. Never to forget:


* Birthdays

* Anniversaries
* Arrangements she makes

&
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:

1. Leave him alone

- Be happy -
- Work hard -
- Enjoy life -

Dear Friends, Olny srmat poelpe can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.! Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on !!

Woman's IQ and wish!!!


A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog .

And the frog said,"Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish .

She answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.



Male readers: Please scroll down..

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The man had a heart attack ten times milder
than his wife..............









Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.





Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show






PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!



Dedicated to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humor.

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with oneof her students. The teacher asked,"Boy, what is your problem?"



Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in thethird-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in thethird-grade too!"



Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. WhileBoy. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principalwhat the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give theboy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to goback to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.



Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.



Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy.: "9".



Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy.: "36".



And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-gradeshould know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I thinkBoy can go to the third-grade."



Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions.



Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy both agreed.



Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy., after a moment "Legs."



Ms Nee lam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy.: "Pockets."



Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut



Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop theanswer, Boy. was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum



Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting downand a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide andbefore he could stop the answer...
Boy.: Shake hands



Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy.: Yep.



Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent



Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.The best man always has me first.The Principal was looking restless, abit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring



Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose



Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy.: Arrow



Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy.: Firetruck



Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it u have to use your hand.
Boy.: Fork



Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some menthan on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wifeafter they're married?
Boy.: SURNAME


Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lotsof veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.


The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
"Send this Boy to IIM Ahmedabad, even I got the last ten questions wrong myself!! "

A Husband makes a call to the Hospital to know about his pregnant Wife.
But accidentally the call went to a Cricket stadium.

He asked ? What is the condition??
He fainted after What he heard?.

Guess What the reply was??
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It is?
7 are already out?
3 more will be out by Lunch?
and?
The First one was a DUCK?

> > > Which Type Of Woman Is Your Girl?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > HARD-DISK Woman:
> > > She remembers everything, FOREVER.
> > >
> > > RAM Woman:
> > > She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
> > >
> > > WINDOWS Woman:
> > > Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right,
> > > but none can live
> > > without her.
> > >
> > > EXCEL Woman:
> > > They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly
> > > use her for your
> > > four basic needs.
> > >
> > > SCREEN SAVER Woman:
> > > She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
> > >
> > > INTERNET Woman:
> > > Difficult to access.
> > >
> > > SERVER Woman:
> > > Always busy when you need her.
> > >
> > > MULTIMEDIA Woman:
> > > She makes horrible things look beautiful.
> > >
> > > CD-ROM Woman:
> > > She is always faster and faster.
> > >
> > > E-MAIL Woman:
> > > Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
> > >
> > > VIRUS Woman:
> > > Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her,
> > > she comes,
> > > installs herself and uses all your resources.
> > > If you try to uninstall her!
> > > you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall
> > > her you will lose everything............

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